I Am Nesu’ferátus

« In the heart of Beta Sector Twelve, of the cosmos, exists a barred spiral cluster of stars known as, the Vârcolac galaxy. This gigantic celestial body contains two billion stars, with countless rocky, and gaseous satellites. Upon those beautiful gems thrives millions of civilizations: societies formed of many souls, from various origins, with infinite destinies. All existing as separate brush strokes, and yet as one divine painting. Near the tip of the second spiral arm lies a binary star system with many worlds in orbit, but only four populated with intelligent life. The third planet, Lilin; the fifth, Centorius Prime; the sixth, Ma’tí Jáhar; and orbiting right on the edge of the habitable zone was Vladamir. This dimly lit and bitterly cold forest world is home to one of the most unique mammalian species crafted by the Gods. Classified as Vladamirians in the Empyrean: they call themselves, Nesu’ferátus. »

There will always be paths we walk that we wish we had not journeyed…But we cannot change the past and our foresight is nothing more than wishful thinking, or perhaps fearful thoughts. Your feet will step precisely where they were destined to step. Prepare yourself mentally and physically for the challenges the Gods have fashioned for you… The Hunt will help. Let your soul guide you, my daughter; and let the blood flow from the flesh of our world… your evolution lies within… 

Father’s words fill my mind and quiet my thoughts saturated with fear. I have walked this world for fifteen years…as a child. Silently I watched the night from the comfort of the keep: safe, and warm. Humph; safe, and warm. But not this day; neither feeling shall be present as I walk out into the wilderness of Vladamir. The time has come for me to take my place amongst my people. For I am Nesu’ferátus, and I must become the woman, I was destined to be. Like the Elders say at this time of year, hunt children of Vladamir: the children of the night. Find your future in the darkness.

« The people of Vladamir desired hemoglobin and the rich fats suspended in the plasma found within the animals of their world. However, the pleasantries and delicate natures of most civilized species were not their way. They did not wait for plates, knives, forks, nor spoons, for they lived for the hunt: to stalk their prey and sink their fangs into living flesh. To feel the blood, pass their lips, and taste the metallic waters of life as they assimilate the creature’s strength and knowledge… Suum cuique: to each their own.

All stories have a beginning and all legends have their origins. Fact or fiction, the history is passed from generation to generation. But, the truth of the past can only be separated from the lies by those who have lived the events that have shaped the cosmos.»

It is cold this morning; colder than most I would say. The hunt will be unpleasant without the proper gear: my Nandi-bear fur boots and cloak will do… But, no need for gloves; I want to feel the wild beast with my bare hands. My belly tingles for a moment with excitement as I think about taking part in my first hunt. I am as ready as I will ever be.

Thud! Thud! Thud!

“No doddling this morning!” shouts Elisabeta, as she pounds on my chamber door. “I’m starving!” Thud! Thud! Thud!

Elisabeta gets grumpy when she is hungry, and she is always hungry…and grumpy. But I love her all the same: family. “I’ll be right out, sister!”

I tighten my braid and tuck the few fly-aways behind my ears as I take one last look at myself in the mirror. I stair deep into my midnight purple eyes and try to make a mental impression of the little details. This is the last time I will be this version of me… I pray I like who I become. I step out of my chambers and walk the corridor, stride down the stairs, and on through the dining hall. Past the table and chairs, where I had sat quietly and drink the blood of a fresh kill, as a child. Safe and warm. I hear whispers of the past in my mind: the chatter of conversation and words of encouragement from the elders as they mentally prepared the young for life. To become the next generation of Nesu’ferátus. 

I step out of the keep, and into the world: vulnerable and cold. I hear the crunch of snow beneath my feet and I see the puffs of water vaper with each breath I take. Our wintery world envelopes me, and I instantly feel small and insignificant.

Elisabeta greets me with a smile and a slight nod of respect. “Are you ready, little sister?” she asks playfully, as she knows damn well I am not.

As my teeth clack uncontrollably and my body shivers, from both the cold and

nervousness, I reply with as much confidences as I can muster. “I was born ready for this moment!”

Elisabeta chuckles. “Good, because this moment cares little for your readiness,” she says. “For it has been stalking you quietly in the night: peering through the windows of our keep, and deep into your soul…It knows your fears. The mother of us all, Vladamir, need only a whisper of your worries to conjurer your darkest nightmares…”

A shiver creeps down my spine as I know, my nightmares reach deep into the darkness of my mind before presenting themselves.

Elisabeta continues, “into the wilderness we shall go together, but alone we must hunt. Alone.”

I find myself unable to formulate words and simple nod to show my acknowledgement of the facts of my present situation. Elisabeta responds with a light nod and hand gesture suggesting the way to my fate. I breath in deep and exhale long and hard, before I take my first step. Silent as a crypt, and with haste we rush off into the È’Skûltan Forest: deep into the darkest regions of the pines. Where the light of our distant star dare not venture. Where the coldest breezes blow, and only the wildest beast roam. 

I hear the warm blooded mammals in the distance, as they cry out: both sounds of warning and those of challenge. Not all of the prey of this world will go quietly into the night. The trees creek and moan as the wind blows them to and fro. The soft sound of the pines rustling together hums along to the rhythm of the woods. The intoxicating sensation of being in nature washes over me and I feel a heightened level of awareness as the light of our star dims to a faint glimmer. I can feel my eyes fight to capture as much of the light that remains… 

Your pupils will naturally expand, increasing the exposed surface of the photoreceptors: even a hint of light will be as bright as day. Father’s intellect fuses with my newly acquired wisdom: the essence of knowledge. I have heard tales of Nesu’ferátus hunting in the darkness and still finding even the prey with the blackest fur… Now I see.

“Take the path left, little sister,” shouts Elisabeta, as she veers to the right. “Good hunting!” Her last words of encouragement, before she leaves me alone to find my destiny.

Somewhere in this forest exists the beast that will start me down the path to who I will Become. Then my nose gets a whiff of something it has not smelt before. The blood smells sweet, even from this great distance: it is enticing to say the least. My belly grumbles and howls as it has already decided for me. My mind locks out all other scents and focuses on the saccharine aroma of my fate. The alluring fragrance guides me this way and that: over hills and through the trees to a valley that lay deep in the densest woods. Even the wind seemed to struggle to gust between the trees. The scent is strong…but there is another odor in the air: it is not sweet. My focus wanes and I become fully aware of my surroundings… I am not alone. 

A large cloud of water vapor rises from behind an enormous tree. It has rhythm and is steady: something is breathing. “Come out you foul beast!” I shout, as I find myself too nervous to confront my prey without seeing it first… And assuming that a mindless animal would listen, and respond…

“It sweats: umm, self-salted meat,” says a voice from the darkness. “Come closer little morsel, so I can see if you taste as good as you smell.”

Instinctively, the Nesu’ferátus in my heart begs me to charge in and claim my prize, but the child that still remains within pleads with my soul to flee. Self-doubt, leads to hesitation, and pointless words meant to buy myself more time to decide. “Show yourself, creature!” I shout and then prepare to both attack, or to vacate the area. But, the mental plans I made in the seconds before my prey stepped out from behind the tree, were rendered inert once I laid eyes on this unholy monster… “From what region of hell did you descend?”

The faint hint of midnight purple in its eyes resembles that of my own, but the blackish brown mangy fur, with hints of red, that covers most of its body is unlike anything I have seen in the woods…peering out my window. Dual pivot-pointed legs, long arms, and large hands adorned with razor sharp claws. More wolf than Nesu, and more monster than wolf. This thing does appear to be wearing bits of clothing: tattered rags really. What is it?

“What hell created the rabid creature that stands before you?” it asks, then grins. “This one: the hell you call home,” the beast says ominously. Slowly the creature takes a few steps towards me. My fear keeps me from following suit, and taking a step back. “I know you see a monster standing before you,” it says as it looks intently at its hands. “I’m sure I smell ripe by now. Humph, matters not to me… the aroma of your sweet flesh fills my nose,” the beast says then licks it lips.

Snap out of it Catilina, or you will be the prey on this day. “I am not some first season hare,” I say confidently. “I did not stumble out of my den with not but my fur and dull vegetarian teeth. I am Nesu’ferátus, and I have come for your blood.”

The creature smiles at me with pleasure. “Very well… child of the night. Have a taste of your fate.”

The snow crunches beneath my feet as I lunge at the mangy animal. It doesn’t move: not toward, nor back…not even a flinch. It simply stairs at me as I charge with haste. What is it waiting for? Right before I grab a hold of my prey, and sink my fangs into its flesh, it grabs a hold of me. Firmly it grips my waist with its long arms holding me just out of reach. I can only dig my nails into its large wrist: it does little to break its focus on squeezing the life out of me. I squirm and kick as, the beast laughs wildly. What matter of animal has a voice and a sense of humor? As my vision begins to fade from a lack of oxygen, the rabid beast flings me to the ground. Once my body stops tumbling uncontrollably through the snow drifts, and smacking into a few trees, I find a moment to gather the air that has been squeezed out of me.

“Tough words, from such a weak Nesu’ferátus,” says the beast as it strides towards me: its eyes filled with rage and hunger.

How does it know of us; of the Nesu’ferátus? Is this thing not simply another animal of Vladamir?... Child of the night.

“Come now, I like when my prey puts up more of a fight than this,” the beast says as it reaches for me. But I find the strength within to continue to resist, and roll out of the way. “Ah, some fight remains. Good!”

Something primal awakens in the face of fear. The essence that allowed the first of us to make the next generation. The will to not just survive, but to thrive… Embrace that sensation, and live my child. Father; I know fate forced you to leave me, I pray your words never do. 

With every fiber of my being, I lash out at the foul creature that has crept out of the darkness to drag me down into the pit of perdition. The beast appeared invulnerable, but its bones break all the same. The loud crack as my fist makes contact with his jaw, causes him to howl with pain... Hopefully it silences his tongue... Slack jawed, with blood and saliva leaking onto the ground the beast lounges at me: but gracefully I avoid his primitive savage attacks. With each swing and every miss, my confidence grows and so too does the creature’s frustration. He thought I was nothing more than a rat scavenging in the dark that stumbled into his trap… Nothing could be further from the truth.

The beast grunts and stumps on the ground like an angry child. “Say sill!” it cries out as drool and blood pour from its broken jaw. “Ma elly roans fo ood!” it says as it continues to attempt to speak. Its hunger has inhibited this dimwitted creature’s ability to reason… How can one eat the food if one’s jaw is shattered, and teeth scattered about the ground?

“I know not what manner of beast you may be, but you shall not see the light of this world again,” I say, then quick as I can I close the distance between us. I can see the pulse of the artery running through its neck: I can almost hear the thump of its heart as I grab a hold of its fur and flesh. Its long arms flail frantically as it try to grasp and remove me like a flea… But my fangs find the vein and exsanguination begins.

« It is not just sustenance that is taken from the creatures of Vladamir, the Nesu’ferátus assimilated the life essence of their prey. They acquired new strengths and worldly insight with each feeding. Although, the animals that inhabit the planets of the cosmos have varying levels of intellect, that intelligence is based on their own perspective on reality. The knowledge of even the meekest creature has great value in the eternal tapestry of existence.

Do not fear the history of the world: consume it all, and find understanding.

Exsanguination is a kin to opening the cover of a book, you never know what tale you will find within the written and unwritten words… But once you sink your fangs into an epic chronicle, it is hard to let go. »

With each guzzle of the creature’s metallic waters of life, I get a glimpse of what this beast truly is. And as I fall backwards through time and this creature’s history, I see Vladamir through the beasts eyes… 

Thoughts of the warmth of a keep: fire crackling, mead flowing, and a beautiful girl. Her eyes gaze with love and her smile is sincere. The beast was a man; he is like me, he is Nesu’ferátus. But his hunger guides him this way and that, deep into the woods. To where the coldest breezes blow, and only the wildest beast roam. It is here, where he sees the mangiest mongrel of the woods. Blood-shot eyes and a foam covered mouth: it is rabid. His hunger grips his mind and instinct take control: without hesitation he consumes the blood of the

beast.

Thoughts of the girl, and the warmth of a keep vanish as there is only hunger now. Quickly and quietly, he wonders the forest of È’Skûltan in search of food. Sniffing the air and savoring every scent. It groans and grunts with excitement when something made of meat and filled with blood wafts by its nose. And with haste it locates and devours the large and small creatures alike. Flickers of who the beast once was flash, but just as sudden as they appear they fade. The hunger that grips his belly is accompanied by the rage that fills his mind. And through the darkness of the forest, he searches for a way out of the hell he has found himself trapped in… And in the darkness he found me.

I gasp as I let go of his lifeless corpus and let him fall to the ground. The light fluffy snow wafts into the air and falls back upon him, covering parts of his corpus. To my surprise his fur slowly falls off revealing the Nesu man that long ago came into these woods to hunt… “What sort of witch craft is this?” 

I wish Elisabeta were here to bear witness to the events that just took place. With haste I run off into the darkness in search of my big sister: I could use her comfort right now.

There will always be paths we walk that we wish we had not journeyed…but we cannot change the past and our foresight is nothing more than wishful thinking, or perhaps fear. Your feet will step precisely where they were destined to step...

What have I done? You’re an unwise fool, Catalina! Senselessly feasting on a strange looking animal in the wilderness… What have I done? I can feel change happening on the outside and within my body, but I am unsure of how to describe the discomfort I am currently feeling. Sweat soaks my face, as fear ravages my mind, palpitations toys with my heart, and pain grips my stomach.

The fear is briefly clouded over by thoughts of hunger, but I soon lose control of my legs and stumble until I crash to the ground. Deeply I inhale and exhale as unnatural sensations fill my body. The tears streaming from my eyes are masked by the salty water seeping through my pores. My digestive system malfunctions and forces every bit of blood I consumed up: wildly I vomit. My vision fades, and with it go my thoughts of the girl I once was: Catalina Dalca.

« We create our own Heavens and Hells: our actions dictate the reality we live in. Our benevolence and maliciousness all serve a purpose… It is the will of the Gods. »

I open my eyes to see a world I do not recognize. It is not the trees, nor the sky that has changed…it is me. The cold does not seem as cold, and the dark does not seem so dark. I have been remade by the blood of that beast: of my brethren. But remade into what? 

My concerns of my existence are erased by the scent of flesh and blood... Though the pines I scurry, in search of whatever has caught my attention. Remarkably I can hear how far away my prey is. The sound of its heart and the base-filled breathes it takes as it lumbers aimlessly through the woods, echo through the trees and into my ears. And precisely where I had anticipated the animal would be I find a Nandi-bear. A ferocious beast crafted by the Vladamir wilderness…but so am I.

I do not hesitate to claim my prize, and as much as the Nandi-bear tries to resist, it is useless. I am no longer Nesu’ferátus, I am something more. Lycanthropy has been assimilated into my double helix, and I am no different than beast I consumed to unlock this blood curse.

As I sit and digest the large animal, that is now nothing more than a few bones and innards, I try to remember who I was this morning. I try to remember the warmth of the keep, and the girl… the girl… My sister! I see her face, but it quickly fades with the hunger, and the scent of meat filled with blood. The trees crack and creek as I rampage through them in search of the feast that awaits me in the darkness of the forest. This way and that, over and under I run: focused, determined, and hungry. My belly groans with anticipation, and my mind dreams of what I am about to sink my teeth into. The sound of its footsteps in the snow find my ears, as does the beat of its heart and

calm steady breath of its lungs. Lungs I shall cleave and gorge upon.

My prey turns as I break through the tree line and pounce. Shock and awe is the expression that greets me: shock and awe. Like a blizzard, I envelope my prey… Although, it does not go easily; it resists with all its might. Fist and feet flail frantically. They hit me with great force in the belly, the face and chest: but it is futile. My hunger will not be denied. My prey screams and squirms, while it speaks to me as if words will silence my belly.

“Catalina! Poūsh gāwnu: my darling!” it says as it cries. “Resist this witchcraft, little sister! Don’t be a pawn of evil—”

Silence falls upon the woods as I sink my fangs into this creature’s throat. The blood pours out of the hole I have chewed through its flesh and it goes limp… As the fatty metallic liquid passes my lips, the history of my prey enters my mind: places and faces I remember flash within. I hear her laugh, before I feel her embrace… 

“Its ok, poūsh gāwnu, there is nothing to fear: it was only the wind howling,” she says sincerely. Her midnight purple eyes are so full of care and concern… Who is she?

Hymns and melodies fall upon my ears and fill my soul with comfort… “By the light of the moons, and beside the warmth of the fire, wait for me poūsh gālily. At the frozen steam, deep in the winter woods, wait for me poūsh gālily. Until we meet again, be strong, poūsh gāwnu. Not for me, but for you.”

That song: I know it… so too, do I know this girl. My prey. I drop the lifeless body as I realize it is my sister: Elisabeta. “What have I done?” Tears flow from my eyes as I take a step back from my unholy carnage. “Oh my God, what have I done…”

My fears are clouded over by my hunger, which begs me to devour my sister. But I resist the urge… Then something unexpected happens: as if this day has not been filled with surprise. Elisabeta’s fingers twitch, and her eyes flutter, followed by a full body shiver. Thick mangy fur begins to grow as she rises to her feet. She too has been remade by the evil that has gripped my soul.

Together our bellies groan of hunger, and our noses twitch with the sensation of delicious fragrances. Instinctively we scurry off into the darkness of the woods. Through the trees we follow the light of the moon: this way and that, over, under, and around. Until we come to a clearing atop a great mound. The light of the moon shines down upon a valley that the delectable scent is wafting from: carefully nestled between the hills lies a village. Only the sound of a few crackling fires can be heard… Silently the Nesu’ferátus that dwell here sleep.

“Meeeeeeeeat,” says Elisabeta as she salivates.

“Awoooooooooo!” we scream into the night sky before we descend upon our feast.

« Evil exists in the heart of all creatures… it simply requires the right circumstances to not just survive, but to thrive. »